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November 6, 2002
The expectations parents have for their children tend to
change as a child gets older, from preschool to the prom.
What may have seemed "too much" at age 7, becomes
a perceived necessity at age 17, as your child competes for
college acceptance.
News Specialist Coco Warner gives us a final look today at
whether parents have expectations of their kids that are too
big.
So now that you've managed to navigate your children through
potty-training, piano lessons and puberty, they're in high
school, where every activity is a potential college resume
builder.
Still, how do you make sure they're not taking on too many
responsibilities?
"This has taken him traveling all over the state with
high school rodeo. He really has a natural talent. He's fun
to watch."
According to his mom, 17-year old Brady Woodward eats, sleeps
and drinks roping, and he hopes to continue competing in college.
"I love dance ... I've had practice every other day since
I've been little and I just love it," says Tawni Henderson.
Tawni attends Davis High School in Kaysville and is on the
drill team. She practices nearly four hours a day. She also
keeps a 3.9 grade-point average.
"It really has to be a passion for them. If they really
have the desire and the passion for it, then we encourage
it because we hate to force anything upon them that they really
don't want to do," says Henderson's mom.
Tawni admits that she occasionally feels overwhelmed, but
she has seen where the hard work can take her. Her older sister
has a scholarship at Weber State University.
School counselor John Izatt says if life gets too demanding,
just talking to someone can help.
"Sometimes just letting them talk about it and let them
see all that they have helps them realize, and they don't
necessarily drop anything but they feel better because somebody
else knows, and because they realize this is a lot,"
he says.
So what can parents do to make sure their child -- at any
age -- is not overloaded?
Before you say yes to any activities, make sure your child
knows how much time an activity requires. Experts say it's
important for the family to remain organized -- a color-coded
calendar may help.
Even if your child is signed up for the whole season, don't
stress out if he or she misses one or two sessions, especially
if it's to make time for a family activity. In fact, most
experts say that's very important -- to make sure you have
enough family time.
And it's not just about the children. Be sure and monitor
your own stress levels. Experts say a stressed-out parent
is more likely to have a stressed out child.
"If our kids are showing undue stress, it's an opportunity
for us as caretakers to take an accounting not only of the
child and what they're going through and what they're facing,
but also as caretakers, as parents, how we are doing,"
says Merrill Kingston, a clinical psychologist.
Other tips: make sure your child receives plenty of your time
and attention, and don't place too much pressure, too early,
on performance and achievement.
The best advice? Just listen to your child.
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