March 29, 2000
Besides all the other confusion divorce creates for children, many times kids don't even know where they will spend the night:
With mom -- or with dad?
But one partial solution is simply being organized.
Here's an example, in today's Family Now Report:
When Pamela Giles and her husband separated three years ago, she thought she would be able to explain to their two children what was happening.
But no matter what she did, the two boys were confused.
Brock Giles: "WE WERE ALWAYS GOING BACK AND FORTH, WE'D HAVE TO PACK CLOTHES TO GO TO OUR DAD'S AND MOM'S AND BACK AND FORTH."
Pamela Giles: "AND IT DIDN'T MATTER HOW MANY TIMES THEIR DAD AND I SAT DOWN AND TALKED WITH THEM ABOUT WHAT DAYS THEY WERE GOING TO BE AT DAD'S HOUSE, WHAT DAY THEY WERE GOING TO BE AT MOM'S HOUSE."
But this family found a solution.
Pamela Giles created a calendar explaining where her kids would be every day.
Besides stickers for birthdays and holidays, others show the boys whether they'll be "with mom" or "with dad."
Conner Giles: "WE WOULD KNOW WHEN WE WERE GOING ON TRIPS TO CALIFORNIA AND STUFF AND WE WOULD KNOW WHEN WE WERE GOING TO OUR GRANDMA'S, OR OUR OTHER GRANDMA'S OF MY DAD'S OR MY MOM'S."
They keep the calendar in the kitchen where everyone can see it and Brock and Conner's mom says it gives them more control over their lives.
Pamela Giles: "THEY'RE ABLE TO FOCUS ON SCHOOL, HAVING FUN, BEING KIDS, INSTEAD OF WHO AM I WITH TODAY. WHAT'S GOING ON WITH MY MOM AND DAD."
We're happy to report that the Giles are back together.
Pamela says she and her husband were forced to work together when dealing with custody issues, and that lead to a reconcilliation.
For more information
on that calendar idea, and other tips on helping kids deal with divorce,
check the following web site: WhereAmItoday.net or call this toll free number 1-877-966-1018.
